Tuesday, March 29, 2011


This is Emmie. 
She is my friend. 
Emmie is a lot of fun.
(She is a lot like me.)

Emmie will do very interesting things, like flap. It is her natural response to everything. There is a happy-flap, a distraught-flap, an angry-flap, a frustrated-flap, a rapper-flap, and many others that have yet to be properly classified.
They are all different.
We counted once during Biology; she flapped 70 times in one hour.
70 flaps in 1 hour is more than 1 flap per 1 minute.
Emmie likes to flap. 
Emmie also makes interesting sounds. Some people complain that they don’t understand her when she replaces words with her sounds, but those people are obviously not trying hard enough. It is possible to know exactly what Emmie means.
“Buack” is one of Emmie’s sounds. 
Emmie and I have had entire conversations without actually speaking real words.
(This, of course, is possible because much of human communication is/can be expressed through means other than words, such as intonations and gestures.)

You may be tempted at times to sarcastically call Emmie “a genius”. There is one problem with doing such a thing.
If you call Emmie a genius, you are speaking the truth. 
By age, Emmie is supposed to be three grades lower than she is. But she is three grades higher than she is supposed to be, and has absolutely no problem keeping up with the intellectual work. In fact, she excels in school. It sometimes makes the rest of us feel dumb.
(Which may give us cause to wonder: why is our education system based on age rather than intellectual ability? It seems rather absurd to simply assume that all those of the same age group have the same mental capacity.)
Emmie is a genius.

Emmie is funny.
I like Emmie.

Emmie is my friend. (This needs to be said again, in more languages.)
엠미가 내 친구예요.
I really like Emmie.
내가 엠미는 너무 너무 너무 좋아해요!


:D This is a pretzel for Emmie. 

Sunday, March 27, 2011

**Heart Attack**

I love cute things. When coming into contact with anything remotely cute, my heart immediately goes into spazz mode. This, of course, has interesting implications on the sounds I produce at such a time.
I will henceforth present you with various examples of the reactions I may have upon being exposed to cuteness of all kinds.

Spazz Catalyst #1:
**begins grinning like a maniac**
**bounces in seat**
**looks away for a second**
**looks back, grins again**
**small giggles**

Spazz Catalyst #2:
This only has one reaction. Here I commence a silent wheezing chuckle that starts small but ends up racking my entire body. Then it stops, and I look at the picture again, and the process repeats itself.

Spazz Catalyst #3:
**violent swaying from side to side**
**big, dopey smile**
**slow, halting laugh, mouth still wide open**
(Here I may eventually drool from having my mouth open for too long)

Spazz Catalyst #4:
[Aegyo (애교): n. the act of being overly cute, commonly by way of high-pitched voices, small sounds, and beaming facial expressions. May cause in others desires of strangulation and/or punching in the face.]
This is best explained through visual means.
(Okay, the second one is not so much aegyo-ish but they are definitely doing it at some points)

**covers eyes**
**puts hand in mouth to stop from making further noises**
**bursts into nervous-ish silent laughter**
**wipes drool from hand and re-inserts it to mouth**
**thrashes again**
**closes tab because it’s too unbearable**
**watches again**

Spazz Catalyst #5:
This, like Catalyst #2, elicits a single response from me.
“D’aaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww **breath** awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww **breath** aaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwww...(etc.)”

My point: I absolutely adore cute things and would eat them for breakfast if I could.
So...if you ever need to incapacitate me for a small amount of time...

P.S. (Feed me in the comments if you’ve got stuff.)

Saturday, March 26, 2011

깝 - Kkap/Kkab

Kkab- adj. "comes from the phrase 'kkab chi neun' which means you are so energetic that you are almost annoying. It can also mean that you are overdoing and overreacting." (according to the urban dictionary)
n. a kkab action, most commonly applied to dancing.

In case you can't recognize the Hangul in the title, this is not Chinese or Japanese. It is Korean. Yes, the writing systems are different.
Anyway, a while ago I discovered a Korean singer by the name of Jo Kwon, who is known in Korean pop culture as the King of Kkab. At the time, I was too lazy to find out why, but last night I had nothing better to do and so Googled "jo kwon kkab". [<<note: this is a great solution for boredom, but do not attempt if you feel conscientious about wasting time.]

Lo and behold, I discovered that the title is not an empty one. Therefore, allow me to introduce to you the wonders of kkab, first and primarily through the one and only Jo Kwon, who is truly the King of Kkab. 
Well, the king of recorded kkab, anyway. 

(Jo Kwon's part ends at around 1:07)
Kkab dancing commonly involves reinterpreting an already well-known dance into the kkab version of that dance. Here, Jo Kwon does exactly that. In the first video you see Taeyeon from Girls' Generation doing her own dance (Gee) the right way...while Jo Kwon, behind her, mutilates it into kkab. The second video shows Jo Kwon kkab-erizing After School's Bang!. You may want to watch at least a bit of the original versions first, as it helps to appreciate how much the dance is being exaggerated. 

Jo Kwon does it again, this time with the Wonder Girls' Tell Me, but we also get to see him perform his audition dance...yes, that skinny little kid in the middle of the clip is Jo Kwon at age 13. 

Though Jo Kwon is rightly called the king, others are quite capable of kkab, too. In fact, Key was good enough that he was challenged to a dance-off:
(Obviously you need good hip control to kkab dance the most effectively.)

But do not be deceived! The world of kkab is not restricted to boys. To demonstrate my point, meet Min.


The first video begins with Yuri (also from Girls' Generation) demonstrating the proper dance to the chorus of Hoot. Then Min takes over with her own rendition and from her death-glare when she's doing the bow-and-arrow part I deduce that she is seriously out to kill me. 

It's great, isn't it? I, for one, am a big fan of dance kkab now. 
I wish I could do it myself, but as I regularly walk into walls without meaning to and lose my balance while sitting on the floor, I doubt my ability to even attempt dancing. 
I'll just have to stick with being hyper all the time.

Oh, one last parting gift:


It's a little bizarre but...I drooled. 


Because Everyone Else Has a Blog

...I'm doing one too.

Because, you know, I'm an insecure high-school student who must succumb to the urges of peer pressure, which is even worse because now I'm being pressured to be funny because everyone else is being funny and I'm really not going to live up to the standard that's been set by my peers because my computer is a managed workstation and I can't blog from it because my computer blocks blogs which makes it hard for me to blog seeing as it blocks my own blog because it's a managed workstation and would you look at this I'm not being funny I'm just repeating myself and writing a terrible run-on sentence that doesn't even have correct punctuation

No, don't worry. I don't write like that often. You may expect blog posts in the future that are much more well-written. They may or may not have more substance.


(enjoy what? i dunno don't ask me)